Dan Haynes' story

On the 5th October 2009 I am doing an Ironman Triathlon in Barcelona, Spain. A Triathlon is a continuous race made of the three disciplines of swimming, cycling and running, nearly always done in that order.

An Ironman is a very long triathlon. The distances are 3.8km swim (2.4 miles), 180km cycle (112 miles) and 42km run (26.2 miles – a full marathon). The race is along the northern coast line of Spain starting off with a fairly straight forward sea swim, a both hot and windy but luckily a fairly flat bike, with a baking hot shade-less marathon. Just from this short description most would assume that this sounds like a tough event and I can assure you that IT IS!

"The worst thing about

being the husband of

an endo sufferer is

how bloody useless

you feel"

With this in mind I am writing the first of my training blogs whilst waiting for my wife Charlotte to come back from her third round of laparoscopic surgery for the treatment of her endometriosis.

Charlotte’s symptoms really started to take hold in 1997. She always had a history of heavy painful periods from when she first started having them. Charlotte was diagnosed as having stage four endometriosis in 2002. It was then when she had her first extensive surgery.

During this fairly shockingly slow diagnosis of five years (although short in comparison to many other women), she was misdiagnosed with Irritable Bowel Syndrome, and was treated with antidepressants. Her Gastroenterologist thought that the IBS was brought on by her being ‘a bit of a worrier.’ Charlotte is one of the most together people I know!

Charlotte’s symptoms returned worse than ever and in March 2008 she underwent more surgery. Unfortunately, this surgery did not go well - a large mass of endometriosis beneath her bowel was missed and her symptoms persisted. A new surgeon was found and more exploratory surgery was carried out. For the past five months she has been on the drug Zoladex (this drug makes you feel miserable, as I am sure many other suffers will know) in preparation for another operation. She has now suffered with endometriosis for 12 years.

The worst thing about being the boyfriend and now husband of an endometriosis sufferer is how bloody useless you feel. The impact that endometriosis has had on her life has been massive, with her pain and discomfort levels fluctuating between moderate and severe. And what can I do? On the face of it, nothing. Charlotte tells me how much of a support I am but, probably at times to my detriment, I am too practically minded. I have always wanted to do something so that I could to just take the pain away. Then I would know I have helped.

What is incredible about Charlotte is that even though she has been in pain for years and has received different quality of care, which in some cases have helped and some really haven’t, she has remained one of the most dignified and strong people that anyone could meet. She never complains, works hard, put all of her friends and family first and is just so full of love. With all that she has faced since being diagnosed she has proven herself to be the most emotionally strong and resilient person I have ever met and I am lucky enough to call her my wife.

What saddens me is that Charlotte’s story is it is not an uncommon one.  There are normally years until a diagnosis is made and different treatments/attitudes along the way from the medical profession and the world at large have to be endured.

Endometriosis is truly a miserable condition that so many women are forced to live with for many years at a time. My Ironman will be made up of some fairly tough training over the next few months but nothing that I am not used to as I have been doing triathlons for many years. But although tough, at least I have had the choice to do it - unlike suffers of endometriosis who have been the unlucky winners of the endometriosis lottery. My Ironman will be one day. One day of discomfort and at the end I’ll get a pat on the back, a medal and a T-shirt. That’s not something that endometriosis sufferers get.

"I just want to pay

tribute to my wife

and the many

other sufferers"

So with this in mind I just wanted to pay tribute to my wife and the many other sufferers. For one day’s effort on the 5th October I will be an ‘Ironman’ but for the women who spend years coping with the condition and still keep going despite the misery of the constant pain and discomfort, the term ‘Ironwomen’ could be used to describe you all. (Although depending on how you feel about Margaret Thatcher that could have a positive or negative overtone!) Whatever the term or expression, like my wife, you are very special women dealing with a condition that makes my endurance event seem like a walk in the park.

So on the 5th October I will be doing this walk in the park (Ironman race) to raise money for Endometriosis UK. I’m not sure how it will help Charlotte (but at least I will be doing something practical) as the surgery she has just had will hopefully significantly improve her quality of life – fingers crossed. But I hope this money can go to research into finding a cure/new treatments or funding Endometriosis UK to offer support to suffers.

Look out over the next few days you will be able to donate money through the Endometriosis UK website to the Ironman fund. I’ll also be writing regular blogs to bring you all up to speed with how my training for the big day is going.

Finally, thank you Charlotte for being strong, beautiful and a wonderful wife!    

Smile on,

Dan Haynes

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